He Said Yes: Part I

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For months now, I have thought about this post. Planned for it. Wished I could write it. Anticipated what I would say.

Now, this week, when the time has finally come, I find words to be inadequate.

Incapable.

Insufficient.

Incompetent.

Perhaps, as Mr. Knightly says in the new "Emma" movie, "if I felt less I may be able to talk about it more." My feelings are not the love of which Mr. Knightly spoke, but those of awe, amazement, excitement, praise, and love for my heavenly Father which are the natural, insuppressible feelings when one sees His work. But still, I do not know how to start. Dear Readers, will you listen to a story?

A year ago, in my ramblings through various internet haunts, I stumbled upon Douglas Bond's Website (he writes some fantastic books, ya'll - if you haven't read them, do!), and saw, to my delight, that he was planning to lead a Reformation Tour in Europe, June 2013. Ecstatic, I raved casually mentioned the tour to mom and dad, only to be told that, based on where I was at the time, they advised against my going. For the months following, I continued to mention the tour to my parents, talk about the sights with Kaytra, and dream about the travelling on my own ~ but nothing changed. Like the Beast's falling rose petals, brightly-colored leaves ticked away my time, urging me on to a decision, but daddy was still not certain I should go; I began to pray earnestly for God's leading. A half-ashamed, selfish prayer, I brought my desire to God and begged Him to make me joyful and content in whichever answer He gave.

September passed. And October. And still, daddy was not ready to say that I should go. Kaytra and I were slowly going crazy with the dream; the travel bug had bitten, but what could we do? We continued to pray, asking that the door would remain shut if this trip would be exclusively for pleasure, knowing enjoyment is not a worthy end. Despite the excitement that traversing the world offered, God's plan and work was - is - dearer, even if the answer was 'no.' We wanted our hearts in the right place.

November came, and was slipping by, when I received an unexpected phone call. My friend Charae, who I had no idea even knew about the tour, was being encouraged by her father to go ~ would I go with her? Of course! I would love to! I had before me only one problem: Daddy was still unconvinced (I had spoken to him again just a few days before), but I would ask again! Charae informed me that she had just hung up with Mr. Bond, and registration would be closing in two weeks. The minute I heard this, my heart skipped a beat and it got hard to breathe. This was it, then; the moment of truth. Was it the LORD's will for me to go on the tour or not? I was insanely excited and tremblingly trepidatious at the same time. Promising to call Charae as soon as I had talked to daddy, I immediately began to send an onslaught of texts that would have put the fastest-texting teen in the world to shame.

My answer? Silence.

I remember nothing of that afternoon. I know I had lessons to teach, dinner to make, and emails to send, but my mind was suddenly as flighty as a hummingbird, darting hither and yon. I prayed all through the afternoon, "LORD, give me joy in whichever answer you send. Let me be content. But please, LORD, I would so love to go."

Daddy came home, but I had to wait. It seemed an eternity before we could talk (although I'm sure he and mama could correct me in saying it was only a few minutes), as he played a game with the twins and I "worked" in the kitchen. Finally, mama, daddy, and I sat down and discussed details, circumstances, and conditions.

That evening, I called Kaytra, absolutely giddy, to tell her Charae and I were going ~ was she able to come too? It took a couple days, but soon it was settled: the three of us were Europe-bound.

 I was floored, speechless, amazed - to have gone from "no" to "yes" in an afternoon was incredible, and a complete turn-around such that only my Father could have made. He had said 'yes.' The anticipation and excitement of all we will see and do is trumped only by the unknown: What does Christ have for us to do on this trip?

Will you pray that we will see and do it?


To read Part II, click here