Beauty from Ashes ~ A Visit from Kaytra

If I had to choose one person for whom this was true

It would be this girl.


Seriously. Whether we're studying Scripture, planning parties, or discussing C.S. Lewis, I can guarantee two things: tea, and laughter. Kaytra is a "PK, lover of tea and chunky sweaters, and an avid traveller." She also happens to be one of my dearest friends, and blogs happy thoughts at scraps of reality. Since age 13, she has had continual health challenges, but as she continues to seek the LORD and His blessings, she continues to be an encouragement and inspiration to those around her. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Kaytch!

Have you ever felt like you’re the only one going through a trial or temptation, and no one could possibly understand what your experiencing, even if they tried? Do you ever give up praying because you don't know how to talk to your Father about your inner intestine and bowels? {yes i just said that}
 

Have you ever looked into your fridge and slammed it shut because you are so discouraged because 99.9 percent of anything good in there is not digestible to you and will make you feel like you’re going to collapse at any moment from being lightheaded, bloated, inflamed and miserable? 

{i forget to add commas generally when i am venting.}

 

Have you ever cried out to the Lord asking Him, "Why me?!" 

"Why this?" 

"Why now?"

 

I feel like i am in a marathon, and although i have already crossed the finish line, i can't stop because i realize that i'm chained to a treadmill. 

{i need to work on my metaphors}
 

Sometimes i am so discouraged that i just decide not to eat at all, which leads to a "nasty Kaytra," which leads to hurting peoples feelings and more importantly hurting God.

 

Because He is there, He knows me, and He has designed me this way. 

{photo}

"Let affliction come~God has chosen me. Poverty, you may stride in at my door, but God is in the house already, and He has chosen me. Sickness, you may intrude, but I have balsam ready~God has chosen me. Whatever befalls me in this vale of tears, I know that He has "chosen" me."

I read this about an hour ago, and I just started weeping.

 

I was chosen for affliction.

 

This broken and disease-ridden body of mine was chosen ~ to fulfill His purposes.

 

Not mine. He has chosen me for affliction, and i so desperately want to be worthy of that choice.

 

I know now that suffering is a not a sin. It is a precious opportunity, and one that i do not want to miss.

 

It is His choice of blessing for my life. Because often, hidden blessings take on an ugly and hideous disguise. 

 

Someday, I believe, God will eventually remove the layers of that disguise so that I can truly see how He used my IBS for His glory and for my good.

_________________________________________

 

"For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome." ~Jeremiah 29:11

 

___________________________________________________

  

"Through floods and flames, if Jesus lead, I'll follow where He goes."

"Blessed Are..." ~ A Visit from Jennifer



Uncle David & Aunt Jenn

Before the role models of babysitters, teachers, and professionals-of-your-sphere, there are, and ever shall be, aunts. "Tante Jenn" - travelling all the way from Loches, France for our party this week - is just such an example. With a contagious joy in life, a wonderful laugh, and a beautiful story of obedience to the Lord {she & my uncle & two cousins left their 'normal' lives & newly-remodelled dream house in the states to become missionaries}, I treasure every conversation we have {even more so, now that she lives half-way across the world!}. She blogs about the lessons, joys, and challenges {and sometimes good ol' funny stories} of ministering in a different culture over at Four For France.

 

Friends, allow me to introduce my aunt, Jennifer.

Do you have one of those friends for whom everything always seems to go well? I do.

She lives in a big house that is delightfully decorated. She has three bright-eyed children and a hard-working, faithful husband. She is popular, fit, and cute to boot. She is the type who plans out her life months, sometimes years in advance, and nothing ever seems to interfere with her agenda. She has a warm and open personality, a joyful countenance, and a deep love for Jesus. By her own admittance, she has never really suffered.

So it seemed the most natural thing in the world to me when she blithely stated, "I'm just so blessed."

Yet, when she said it, my heart beat seemed to grow heavy. I squinted, trying to assess my recoil. While I believe her statement was an expression of genuine gratitude, something about it chaffed. Finally, gently, I whispered, "People who suffer are blessed, too."

"Oh, I know," she said, a little too quickly, and on we went to other subjects.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I can't stop thinking about that brief conversation. I wonder if there is a disconnect in our understanding of blessing. What does it mean to be blessed?

According to the dictionary, it means "divinely favored." But it can also mean "blissfully happy."

 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

I know that every good gift is from above, and indeed, the pleasing circumstances of my life are blessings. But if I stop there, might that be too narrow of a view? Isn't it also true that God blesses us in and through challenging circumstances?

And while I don't think we need to go looking for trouble or inviting disaster into our lives, I do sometimes wonder if our relentless pursuit of our own comfort and glory could be barriers, rather than pathways, to blessing.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

What if I chose the "discomfort" of living in a smaller house so that I might be more generous? What if I sought opportunities to serve others so that I might be more humble? what if I turned the other cheek instead of defending my "rights"? What if I demonstrated love to someone who treats me with indifference or even hatred? Do I need to wait for calamity to come to me in order to experience the blessings that Jesus speaks about in Matthew 5? Or could it be my calling to engage in suffering no matter my circumstances?

 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.