Monday, March 24, 2014

The End of My Rope

It's been weeks since I've felt caught up on sleep.

Nearly a month since I've written in my journal.

More than a month since I've really read a book.

Days since I've had a good hour to dig into the Word.


It's been a while since I've felt in control.

On top of my happening life.

Ahead enough to plan for new things.


Most days I feel like I barely keep my head above water.

Like it's a struggle just to stay current with day-to-day events.

Then taxes loom in front of me.

And expenses descend upon me.

And my room's a mess.

And there are emails unwritten.

And phone calls unmade.


My spirit begins to cry out in thirst for true Water.

And my soul begins to shrivel in the cold.

And my temper's suddenly short and brittle.

And in desperation, I finally throw myself at Your feet.


Ignoring the thousands of chiming voices -

The hundreds of chores and to-dos yet undone.

The clamor grows louder, but I know, yes, I know.

First things not put first only grow desperate cries.


I'm at the end of my rope.

With naught but a frayed strip 'twixt my fingers.

And I can't afford to listen to the canyon, deep below.

So in pain, hands bleeding, muscles quivering, I focus -

Focus, on the rope, held taut, far above me.

And the deafening cries subside.

And I'm drawn up by You.

And I realize that, here, I always should dwell:

At the end of my rope.


Karlena Ludlow said...

Sarah, you always speak the truth so poetically! I love this post!!

Ruthie H. said...

Were you listening in on my prayer time this morning>? ;) I have been feeling much the same way and was again reminded that when I am empty, broken and at the end of my rope - Jesus is always enough. Sarah, thank you for this post.

Mikaela said...

The ending hit me between the eyes! Really good.

Lauren said...

I'm so glad He is so patient with me to learn these lessons! I don't like being at the end of my rope and realizing that I am not in control, but you are so right--that is exactly where we all need to be.

Ben said...

Hang in there, Sar! Miss you some, love you lots!

Pearl of Tyburn said...

Hi, Sarah,

I found your blog through "Defending the Legacy", which led me to "For God's Glory" which led! And I'm glad of it :-)

I loved your "about me" section! I am a musician as well, although for me it's singing, playing the penny whistle, and bodhran drum, and I do indeed know that "blank" feeling when someone says, "So, won't you tell us a little about yourself???" My chosen response would be: "I'm human. Now please let's get it over with!!!"

I also understand the feelings you express in "End of My Rope". There are always times in life when we just feel burnt out and stuck in a vortex, but God uses that to build our character and he helps us climb out of the pit in the end.

If you get the chance, please check out my blogs as well. "Longbows and Rosary Beads" deals with essays, poetry, and journal entries, whereas "Behind the Silver Screen" is my movie reviewing headquarters. I focus mostly on classics, with a few modern ones thrown in as well.

God bless,
Pearl of Tyburn