New Year's Cleaning

It's 2014, and I'm in the midst of a surreal game of "looking-back." January has marked some pretty life-changing events in my life for the past couple of years, and I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved that the last two weeks have seen nothing drastic, dramatic, or out of the ordinary. In fact, January rather appeared out of no where and is cruising along like any other old mind-your-own-business sort of month. Maybe it's just me, getting older, but the beginning of a fresh year with unlimited possibilities gives me a sort of restlessness I can't seem to shift. Over 300 days stretch before me, and a giddy sort of dizziness lays hold of my heart every time I think of all with which I want to fill them. There are so many books to read, improvements and experiments to try with my studio, travels to explore, friends to know better, lessons to learn, people to meet, and things to do that I am overwhelmed with both a sense of urgency and excitement. 

I want to be sure of where God wants me this year.

There is so much to challenge, see, and pursue - I cannot possibly do it all, but I dread complacency. Contentment was never really something with which I struggled. I am too easily contented; I was born complacent. It is my fear.

How I want to seize every opportunity the LORD sends my way! But as I go forward in planning this year, I want, most of all, to plan with my palms up and hands open. I want, most of all, to run after opportunity because I hear the Spirit telling me, "This is the way - come on!" I want, most of all, to know my King more, and understand better how I am to serve Him.

I want, most of all, to listen.

I want to rank lessons from the Scriptures over math or philosophy. I want to desire time on my face, seeking the LORD's direction more than coffee dates with friends or trips to NYC. I want to reflect and really chew on the lessons that I am taught and learn how to express them, rather than read a novel or scribble one-liners on facebook. I want to challenge my mind, and use it in an honest, transparent way that will honor the One who loves me more than I could begin to hope to understand.

And so, to think clearly, express fully, and share openly, this year, I resolve to write more. This year, I resolve to blog.

Not weeks on end of "Watch-It Wednesdays."
Not month-long summaries with pictures and thisismywholelifecrammedintoaparagraph descriptions.
Not weeks and months of silence.

This year, I resolve to blog every Monday because I love words, and I want to practice using them well in honor of the life-giving Word. 

There will still be "Watch-It Wednesdays" (sometimes).
There will still be pictures and journal-like entries about daily life (like throwing my cell phone away, or getting towed in Portland).
There will still be the occasional, completely random posting.

But most of all, I hope there will be the soap. Yep! Soap. The soap that the Master Cleanser uses to turn a moldering, lifeless mess into a fresh, new daughter.

Will you join me for my cleaning?

Resolve in 2012

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 Resolutions. Everyone makes them. Whether it's an exercise plan that begins religiously on the first of every year, a commitment to read certain books within the month, or a quiet, mental purpose - in the words of Princess Victoria - to "be good," people are constantly resolving to think better, to act better, to be better. Yet, despite the commonality of this routine, one somehow feels more official when sitting down to write in large letters across a blank sheet, "2012 New Year's Resolutions". What will you do with the next 366 days of your life? Plans relating to fitness and finances are perhaps the easiest and most predictable - eat less, save more - they bestow a sense of accomplishment by being clearly quantifiable, easily achievable (with a little discipline! :), and yielding more-or-less immediate results, which monitor the level of commitment to the cause.

But how does one make resolutions in regard to relationships? Parents, brothers, sisters, friends - it is surely far more necessary to have a plan for growing and sharpening these bonds than it is for growing a bank account; yet, too often, goals in these areas are either scantily constructed, or skipped over altogether. Year after year, if relationships even cross one's mind during the planning process, their goals are vaguely confined to "get to know whats-her-name," or "spend more time with so-and-so." Why? Why is it that the most important aspects of life are the ones for which the least intentional plans are laid?



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How laughable it would be to resolve to "loose weight" with no specified intention of altering exercise or diet. How much more so to indistinctly purpose to "have a more sharpening relationship with Jane" but leave out the "how-to"! Yet we do it - the difficulty being in the obscurity of the gauge. We do not receive a bank statement each month, informing us that we're running low in the "quality time" account. We possess no mirror-on-the-wall to reflect a face pimpled with impatience. We cannot step on a scale and see that self-centeredness is beginning to weigh heavy in our interactions with those we love. Relationships are simply not measured in gifts, emails, or hugs. No, the gauge of our efforts lies much deeper, measured only through the looking-glass of Scripture. We must not let this stop us, but how then should we proceed?

Carefully, purposefully - we must stand and defy the tendency to simply drift through days and years, haphazardly "chilling" with friends when we're bored, or cooking with siblings when the fancy strikes. Each interaction should be deliberate: planned and designed to glorify and honor our King. Most importantly, the ultimate relationship we must resolve upon is that treasured gift between our Savior and ourselves. C.S. Lewis well understood how to build and strengthen relationships when he wrote:

"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. Insofar as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed, but increased."

Yes, specific resolutions can be made with regard to relationships, and the "how-to" resides in the diligent seeking of God. With the blessing of His Holy Spirit to lead us, we are without excuse if we fail to purposefully build our relationships this year. My prayer for 2012 is to be intentional with every interaction. From spending time with my Savior each day to giving the random five minutes here-and-there to help the Twinkles with knitting, I want to see and plan this growth with the eyes of my King. After all, we know that resolutions are there for a greater good than depriving us of chocolate. They had better be.